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Monthly Archives: May 2018

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هَلْ الْقِيَامُ لِلْمُصْحَفِ وَتَقْبِيلُهُ، وَجَعْلُهُ عِنْدَ الْقَبْرِ، وَوَقِيدُ قِنْدِيلٍ فِي مَوْضِعٍ يَكُونُ مِنْ غَيْرِ أَنْ يَقْرَأَ فِيهِ، مَكْرُوهٌ؟ وَهَلْ يُكْرَهُ أَيْضًا أَنْ يُفْتَحَ فِيهِ الْفَالُ؟
الْجَوَابُ: الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الْقِيَامُ لِلْمُصْحَفِ وَتَقْبِيلُهُ لَا نَعْلَمُ فِيهِ شَيْئًا مَأْثُورًا عَنْ السَّلَفِ وَقَدْ سُئِلَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ عَنْ تَقْبِيلِ الْمُصْحَفِ، فَقَالَ: مَا سَمِعْت فِيهِ شَيْئًا، وَلَكِنْ رُوِيَ عَنْ عِكْرِمَةَ بْنِ أَبِي جَهْلٍ أَنَّهُ كَانَ يَفْتَحُ الْمُصْحَفَ، وَيَضَعُ وَجْهَهُ عَلَيْهِ وَيَقُولُ كَلَامُ رَبِّي كَلَامُ رَبِّي، وَلَكِنَّ السَّلَفَ، وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ مِنْ عَادَتِهِمْ الْقِيَامُ لَهُ، فَلَمْ يَكُنْ مِنْ عَادَتِهِمْ قِيَامُ بَعْضِهِمْ لِبَعْضٍ، اللَّهُمَّ إلَّا لِمِثْلِ الْقَادِمِ مِنْ غَيْبَةٍ وَنَحْوِ ذَلِكَ، وَلِهَذَا قَالَ أَنَسٌ: لَمْ يَكُنْ شَخْصٌ أَحَبَّ إلَيْهِمْ مِنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – وَكَانُوا إذَا رَأَوْهُ لَمْ يَقُومُوا لِمَا يَعْلَمُونَ مِنْ كَرَاهَتِهِ لِذَلِكَ، وَالْأَفْضَلُ لِلنَّاسِ أَنْ يَتَّبِعُوا طَرِيقَ السَّلَفِ فِي كُلِّ شَيْءٍ، فَلَا يَقُومُونَ إلَّا حَيْثُ كَانُوا يَقُومُونَ.
فَأَمَّا إذَا اعْتَادَ النَّاسُ قِيَامَ بَعْضِهِمْ لِبَعْضٍ، فَقَدْ يُقَالُ: لَوْ تَرَكُوا الْقِيَامَ لِلْمُصْحَفِ مَعَ هَذِهِ الْعَادَةِ لَمْ يَكُونُوا مُحْسِنِينَ فِي ذَلِكَ وَلَا مَحْمُودِينَ، بَلْ هُمْ إلَى الذَّمِّ أَقْرَبُ، حَيْثُ يَقُومُ بَعْضُهُمْ لِبَعْضٍ، وَلَا يَقُومُونَ لِلْمُصْحَفِ الَّذِي هُوَ أَحَقُّ بِالْقِيَامِ، حَيْثُ يَجِبُ مِنْ احْتِرَامِهِ وَتَعْظِيمِهِ مَا لَا يَجِبُ لِغَيْرِهِ، حَتَّى يُنْهَى أَنْ يَمَسَّ الْقُرْآنَ إلَّا طَاهِرٌ، وَالنَّاسُ يَمَسُّ بَعْضُهُمْ بَعْضًا مَعَ الْحَدَثِ، لَا سِيَّمَا فِي ذَلِكَ مِنْ تَعْظِيمِ حُرُمَاتِ اللَّهِ وَشَعَائِرِهِ مَا لَيْسَ فِي غَيْرِ ذَلِكَ. وَقَدْ ذَكَرَ مَنْ ذَكَرَ مِنْ الْفُقَهَاءِ الْكِبَارِ قِيَامَ النَّاسِ لِلْمُصْحَفِ ذِكْرَ مُقَرِّرٍ لَهُ، غَيْرِ مُنْكِرٍ لَهُ.

وَأَمَّا جَعْلُ الْمُصْحَفِ عِنْدَ الْقُبُورِ، وَإِيقَادُ الْقَنَادِيلِ هُنَاكَ فَهَذَا مَكْرُوهٌ مَنْهِيٌّ عَنْهُ، وَلَوْ كَانَ قَدْ جُعِلَ لِلْقِرَاءَةِ فِيهِ هُنَالِكَ، فَكَيْفَ إذَا لَمْ يُقْرَأْ فِيهِ؟ فَإِنَّ النَّبِيَّ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – قَالَ: «لَعَنَ اللَّهُ زَوَّارَاتِ الْقُبُورِ، وَالْمُتَّخِذِينَ عَلَيْهَا الْمَسَاجِدَ وَالسُّرُجَ» . فَإِيقَادُ السُّرُجِ مِنْ قِنْدِيلٍ وَغَيْرِهِ عَلَى الْقُبُورِ مَنْهِيٌّ عَنْهُ مُطْلَقًا؛ لِأَنَّهُ أَحَدُ الْفِعْلَيْنِ الَّذِي لَعَنَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – مَنْ يَفْعَلُهُمَا كَمَا قَالَ: «لَا يَخْرُجُ الرَّجُلَانِ يَضْرِبَانِ الْغَائِطَ كَاشِفَيْنِ عَنْ عَوْرَاتِهِمَا يَتَحَدَّثَانِ، فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ يَمْقُتُ عَلَى ذَلِكَ» . رَوَاهُ أَبُو دَاوُد وَغَيْرُهُ
وَمَعْلُومٌ أَنَّهُ يُنْهَى عَنْ كَشْفِ الْعَوْرَةِ وَحْدَهُ، وَعَنْ التَّحَدُّثِ وَحْدَهُ، وَذَلِكَ قَوْله تَعَالَى: {وَالَّذِينَ لا يَدْعُونَ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَهًا آخَرَ وَلا يَقْتُلُونَ النَّفْسَ الَّتِي حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلا بِالْحَقِّ وَلا يَزْنُونَ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَامًا} [الفرقان: 68] {يُضَاعَفْ لَهُ الْعَذَابُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَيَخْلُدْ فِيهِ مُهَانًا} [الفرقان: 69] .
فَتَوَعَّدَ عَلَى مَجْمُوعِ أَفْعَالٍ، وَكُلُّ فِعْلٍ مِنْهَا مُحَرَّمٌ؛ وَذَلِكَ لِأَنَّ تَرْتِيبَ الذَّمِّ عَلَى الْمَجْمُوعِ يَقْتَضِي أَنَّ كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ لَهُ تَأْثِيرٌ فِي الذَّمِّ، وَلَوْ كَانَ بَعْضُهَا مُبَاحًا لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ تَأْثِيرٌ فِي الذَّمِّ، وَالْحَرَامُ لَا يَتَوَكَّدُ بِانْضِمَامِ الْمُبَاحِ الْمُخَصِّصِ إلَيْهِ وَالْأَئِمَّةُ قَدْ تَنَازَعُوا فِي الْقِرَاءَةِ عِنْدَ الْقَبْرِ، فَكَرِهَهَا أَبُو حَنِيفَةَ وَمَالِكٌ وَأَحْمَدُ فِي

أَكْثَرِ الرِّوَايَاتِ، وَرَخَّصَ فِيهَا فِي الرِّوَايَةِ الْأُخْرَى عَنْهُ هُوَ وَطَائِفَةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ وَغَيْرِهِمْ.
وَأَمَّا جَعْلُ الْمَصَاحِفِ عِنْدَ الْقُبُورِ لِمَنْ يَقْصِدُ قِرَاءَةَ الْقُرْآنِ هُنَاكَ وَتِلَاوَتَهُ، فَبِدْعَةٌ مُنْكَرَةٌ، لَمْ يَفْعَلْهَا أَحَدٌ مِنْ السَّلَفِ، بَلْ هِيَ تَدْخُلُ فِي مَعْنَى اتِّخَاذِ الْمَسَاجِدِ عَلَى الْقُبُورِ، وَقَدْ اسْتَفَاضَتْ السُّنَنُ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – بِالنَّهْيِ عَنْ ذَلِكَ حَتَّى قَالَ: «لَعَنَ اللَّهُ الْيَهُودَ وَالنَّصَارَى اتَّخَذُوا قُبُورَ أَنْبِيَائِهِمْ مَسَاجِدَ» . يُحَذِّرُ مَا صَنَعُوا، قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ: وَلَوْلَا ذَلِكَ لَأُبْرِزَ قَبْرُهُ، وَلَكِنْ كُرِهَ أَنْ يُتَّخَذَ مَسْجِدًا، وَقَالَ «إنَّ مَنْ كَانَ قَبْلَكُمْ كَانُوا يَتَّخِذُونَ الْقُبُورَ مَسَاجِدَ؛ أَلَا فَلَا تَتَّخِذُوا الْقُبُورَ مَسَاجِدَ، فَإِنِّي أَنْهَاكُمْ عَنْ ذَلِكَ» وَلَا نِزَاعَ بَيْنَ السَّلَفِ وَالْأَئِمَّةِ فِي النَّهْيِ عَنْ اتِّخَاذِ الْقُبُورِ مَسَاجِدَ.
وَمَعْلُومٌ أَنَّ الْمَسَاجِدَ بَيْتُ الصَّلَاةِ وَالذِّكْرِ وَقِرَاءَةِ الْقُرْآنِ، فَإِذَا اُتُّخِذَ الْقَبْرُ لِبَعْضِ ذَلِكَ كَانَ دَاخِلًا فِي النَّهْيِ، فَإِذَا كَانَ هَذَا مَعَ كَوْنِهِمْ يَقْرَءُونَ فِيهَا، فَكَيْفَ إذَا جُعِلَتْ الْمَصَاحِفُ بِحَيْثُ لَا يُقْرَأُ فِيهَا وَلَا يَنْتَفِعُ بِهَا لَا حَيٌّ وَلَا مَيِّتٌ، فَإِنَّ هَذَا لَا نِزَاعَ فِي النَّهْيِ عَنْهُ، وَلَوْ كَانَ الْمَيِّتُ يَنْتَفِعُ بِمِثْلِ ذَلِكَ لَفَعَلَهُ السَّلَفُ، فَإِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا أَعْلَمَ بِمَا يُحِبُّهُ اللَّهُ وَيَرْضَاهُ، وَأَسْرَعَ إلَى فِعْلِ ذَلِكَ وَتَحَرِّيهِ.
وَأَمَّا اسْتِفْتَاحُ الْفَالِ فِي الْمُصْحَفِ فَلَمْ يُنْقَلْ عَنْ السَّلَفِ فِيهِ شَيْءٌ، وَقَدْ تَنَازَعَ فِيهِ الْمُتَأَخِّرُونَ.
وَذَكَرَ الْقَاضِي أَبُو يَعْلَى فِيهِ نِزَاعًا ذَكَرَ عَنْ ابْنِ بَطَّةَ أَنَّهُ فَعَلَهُ، وَذَكَرَ عَنْ غَيْرِهِ

أَنَّهُ كَرِهَهُ، فَإِنَّ هَذَا لَيْسَ الْفَالَ الَّذِي يُحِبُّهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – فَإِنَّهُ «كَانَ يُحِبُّ الْفَالَ وَيَكْرَهُ الطِّيَرَةَ» ، وَالْفَالُ الَّذِي يُحِبُّهُ هُوَ أَنْ يَفْعَلَ أَمْرًا أَوْ يَعْزِمَ عَلَيْهِ مُتَوَكِّلًا عَلَى اللَّهِ، فَيَسْمَعُ الْكَلِمَةَ الْحَسَنَةَ الَّتِي تَسُرُّهُ مِثْلُ أَنْ يَسْمَعَ: يَا نَجِيحُ، يَا مُفْلِحُ، يَا سَعِيدُ، يَا مَنْصُورُ، وَنَحْوُ ذَلِكَ، كَمَا «لَقِيَ فِي سَفَرِ الْهِجْرَةِ رَجُلًا فَقَالَ: مَا اسْمُك؟ قَالَ: يَزِيدُ، قَالَ: يَا أَبَا بَكْرٍ يَزِيدُ أَمْرُنَا» .
وَأَمَّا الطِّيَرَةُ، بِأَنْ يَكُونَ قَدْ فَعَلَ أَمْرًا مُتَوَكِّلًا عَلَى اللَّهِ، أَوْ يَعْزِمَ عَلَيْهِ فَيَسْمَعَ كَلِمَةً مَكْرُوهَةً مِثْلُ: مَا يَتِمُّ، أَوْ مَا يُفْلِحُ، وَنَحْوُ ذَلِكَ، فَيَتَطَيَّرُ وَيَتْرُكُ الْأَمْرَ، فَهَذَا مَنْهِيٌّ عَنْهُ، كَمَا فِي الصَّحِيحِ عَنْ «مُعَاوِيَةَ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ السُّلَمِيِّ، قَالَ: قُلْت: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مِنَّا قَوْمٌ يَتَطَيَّرُونَ، قَالَ: ذَلِكَ شَيْءٌ يَجِدُهُ أَحَدُكُمْ فِي نَفْسِهِ فَلَا يَصُدَّنَّكُمْ» .
فَنَهَى النَّبِيُّ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – أَنْ تَصُدَّ الطِّيَرَةُ الْعَبْدَ عَمَّا أَرَادَ، فَهُوَ فِي كُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْ مَحَبَّتِهِ لِلْفَالِ، وَكَرَاهَتِهِ لِلطِّيَرَةِ، إنَّمَا يَسْلُكُ مَسْلَكَ الِاسْتِخَارَةِ لِلَّهِ، وَالتَّوَكُّلِ عَلَيْهِ، وَالْعَمَلِ بِمَا شُرِعَ لَهُ مِنْ الْأَسْبَابِ، لَمْ يَجْعَلْ الْفَالَ آمِرًا لَهُ وَبَاعِثًا لَهُ عَلَى الْفِعْلِ، وَلَا الطِّيَرَةَ نَاهِيَةً لَهُ عَنْ الْفِعْلِ، وَإِنَّمَا يَأْتَمِرُ وَيَنْتَهِي عَنْ مِثْلِ ذَلِكَ أَهْلُ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الَّذِينَ يَسْتَقْسِمُونَ بِالْأَزْلَامِ، وَقَدْ حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ الِاسْتِقْسَامَ بِالْأَزْلَامِ فِي آيَتَيْنِ مِنْ كِتَابِهِ، وَكَانُوا إذَا أَرَادُوا أَمْرًا مِنْ الْأُمُورِ أَحَالُوا بِهِ قِدَاحًا مِثْلَ السِّهَامِ أَوْ الْحَصَى أَوْ غَيْرِ ذَلِكَ، وَقَدْ عَلَّمُوا عَلَى هَذَا عَلَامَةَ الْخَيْرِ، وَعَلَى هَذَا عَلَامَةَ الشَّرِّ، وَآخَرُ غُفْلٌ، فَإِذَا خَرَجَ هَذَا فَعَلُوا، وَإِذَا خَرَجَ هَذَا تَرَكُوا، وَإِذَا خَرَجَ الْغُفْلُ أَعَادُوا الِاسْتِقْسَامَ.
فَهَذِهِ الْأَنْوَاعُ الَّتِي تَدْخُلُ فِي ذَلِكَ مِثْلُ الضَّرْبِ بِالْحَصَى وَالشَّعِيرِ، وَاللَّوْحُ وَالْخَشَبُ وَالْوَرَقُ الْمَكْتُوبُ عَلَيْهِ حُرُوفُ أَبْجَدٍ، أَوْ أَبْيَاتٌ مِنْ الشِّعْرِ، أَوْ نَحْوُ ذَلِكَ مِمَّا يُطْلَبُ بِهِ الْخِيَرَةُ، فَمَا يَفْعَلُهُ الرَّجُلُ وَيَتْرُكُهُ يُنْهَى عَنْهَا؛ لِأَنَّهَا مِنْ بَابِ الِاسْتِقْسَامِ بِالْأَزْلَامِ، وَإِنَّمَا يُسَنُّ لَهُ اسْتِخَارَةُ الْخَالِقِ، وَاسْتِشَارَةُ الْمَخْلُوقِ، وَالِاسْتِدْلَالُ بِالْأَدِلَّةِ الشَّرْعِيَّةِ الَّتِي تُبَيِّنُ مَا يُحِبُّهُ اللَّهُ وَيَرْضَاهُ، وَمَا يَكْرَهُهُ وَيَنْهَى عَنْهُ، وَهَذِهِ الْأُمُورُ تَارَةً يُقْصَدُ بِهَا الِاسْتِدْلَال عَلَى مَا يَفْعَلُهُ الْعَبْدُ، هَلْ هُوَ خَيْرٌ أَمْ شَرٌّ؟ وَتَارَةً الِاسْتِدْلَال عَلَى مَا يَكُونُ

فِيهِ نَفْعٌ فِي الْمَاضِي وَالْمُسْتَقْبَلِ، وَكُلًّا غَيْرُ مَشْرُوعٍ، وَاَللَّهُ سُبْحَانَهُ أَعْلَمُ

 


الْجَوَابُ: الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ. الِاجْتِمَاعُ عَلَى الْقِرَاءَةِ وَالذِّكْرِ وَالدُّعَاءِ حَسَنٌ مُسْتَحَبٌّ إذْ لَمْ يُتَّخَذْ ذَلِكَ عَادَةً رَاتِبَةً، كَالِاجْتِمَاعَاتِ الْمَشْرُوعَةِ، وَلَا اقْتَرَنَ بِهِ بِدْعَةٌ مُنْكَرَةٌ. وَأَمَّا كَشْفُ الرَّأْسِ مَعَ ذَلِكَ فَمَكْرُوهٌ، لَا سِيَّمَا إذَا اُتُّخِذَ عَلَى أَنَّهُ عِبَادَةٌ، فَإِنَّهُ يَكُونُ حِينَئِذٍ مُنْكَرًا وَلَا يَجُوزُ التَّعَبُّدُ بِذَلِكَ.

I watched a local football match in a school playing ground. As I sat down, I asked one of the boys what the score was.

With a smile, he replied; “They are leading us 3-0” !

And I said, REALLY!!

I have to say you don’t look discouraged.

“Discouraged?” the boy asked with a puzzled look …

Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle?

I have confidence in the team and the managers; We shall definitely overcome!

Truly, the match ended 5-4 in favor of the boy’s team!

He waved at me gently, with a beautiful smile as he left; I was amazed, mouth wide open; Such confidence; Such beautiful faith;

As I got back home that night, his question kept coming back to me:
“Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle?”

Life is like a game.

Why should you be discouraged when The Almighty God is your manager? Why should you be discouraged, when there’s still life? Why should you be discouraged when your final whistle has not sounded? The truth is that many people blow the final whistle themselves;

But as long as there is life, nothing is impossible and it is never too late for you.

Half time is not full time and HIS calendar for your life is not man’s calendar.

Don’t blow the whistle yourself.

BE ENCOURAGED! DON’T GIVE UP.

With God all things are still possible!”

Everyday is a fresh start with potentials. .. keep the faith…. keep on believing in God . !
It is not over until God the referee of all referees says it is over. Enjoy yourself and God bless you.

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Power of Dua – Nouman Ali Khan – illustrated-cdqKYiULyxA
Lecture By: Nouman Ali Khan
Download Link: http://bit.ly/2dF6Hog
Uploaded by Zikr

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Zikr-755786794498408
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Source by Zikr
Download Free Power of Dua – Nouman Ali Khan – illustrated-cdqKYiULyxA – (Nouman Ali Khan) by Zikr at 2016/10/10 05:02:31 +0000

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Some people pursue a sexual attraction in the work place and sometimes it can lead to marriage, others become involved in affairs (a quick fumble at the Christmas party) but the vast majority do not want and prefer not to be involved in a romantic relationship in the workplace. The reasons are as individual as the people who give them. And most advice regarding office romance will tell you to steer clear because office romances are such a bad idea – this kind of advice mainly focuses on the negative outcomes of office romances. And if you go into ANY kind of relationship focusing on the negative, it’s no wonder the outcome will be a negative one.

Personally, I believe that the workplace is a pretty good place to meet a potential partner. I know because I had an office romance and not only lived to tell the tale, I’ve kept him. Unlike bars where you get to pick mainly in impulse and alcohol-impaired chat, in the office you have natural opportunities to get to see more of what the person is really like – how he/she treats other people, how he/she organizes their space, how he/she holds up under stress etc.

But how can you tell if the person is interested in a relationship with you or just being a good colleague?

1. You are aware of his/her presence everywhere – He/she always seems to be watching you (extended eye contact, frequent glances, sits facing you in meetings etc) And sometimes what are supposed to be 10-15 minute meetings between the two of you frequently turn into 45 minute to an hour sessions.

2. He/she always finds some way to be physically close – This can be either very subtle or extremely “in your face” (literally!). It’s his/her way of letting you know “I am interested if you are”.

3. You “coincidentally” bump into each other every now and then – Forget about “coincidence” those “happy accidents” may not be so accidental after all. Even his/her “surprise” appearance at your favorite hangout is a signal that he/she’s trying to connect with you (but doesn’t want you to think he/she’s a stalker!). Take this as a positive sign and make the most of your next encounter.

4. He/she seems “overly” curious about you, especially what you do outside of office hours – What he/she is doing is trying to find out if you already have someone and how serious you are about that person. It’s interesting how most people who really feel strongly about someone are not put off by the mere fact that person may have someone else, especially if the relationship is not already serious. We humans are optimists by nature!

5. He she calls you after 10 O’clock in the night just to see how you are doing or how your day went. And then lingers on the phone (uncomfortable silence) before hanging up. Or may be he/she calls and when the two of you start talking, it’s sometimes into the wee-hours of the night. Wake up – that’s what people who are dating do!

If he/she’s single and you’re single, you may be a few days away from actually dating. Just don’t rush things, allow things to mature and progress naturally. Make sure you have done the following three things:

1. Checked your company guidelines regarding dating coworkers;

2. You have read the company policy on harassment and;

3. You have healthy emotional boundaries. It isn’t easy bringing together two areas of your life (work and a relationship) and a “broken heart” can be a severe emotional stress when things don’t work out.

I advice against accepting a job thinking it to be an unofficial dating club. Keep in mind that most people come to office to work not to look for love. Good luck with it!

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Source by Yangki Christine Akiteng

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I am fascinated by the number of women who complain that there are not any good men out there for marriage and the number of men who go their own way (MGTOW).

As I was doing research for one of my books, I learned something absolutely astonishing. I learned that both men and woman are more educated in the area of preparation for an occupation that we are to successfully choose and marry a mate for the next forty years. Why is this important? Many people who get into relationships and get married haven’t an accurate idea what they are getting themselves into. They are not educationally equipped with the tools that they need to have a healthy relationship. Even worse, due to the emasculation of men and manhood displayed in media, the court system, films, Human Resource policies, etc., there is no benefit to men for being men.

More now than ever, schools and colleges are feminine-centric. The Judeo-Christian model of marriage where the roles of traditional marriage are not equal is frowned upon by the feminist movement. That said, how can a man see marriage in today’s society as a benefit? Most times he is not fully appreciated for all that he does. He is expected to work his whole life for his family and suddenly his wife decides to leave, causing him to lose all that he has invested in and worked for?

Women are taught that they need to have high standards for the man they are supposed to marry. However, are they emotionally ready for marriage? It is clear that both men and women are not likely to have read a good relationship or communication book to prepare themselves for a healthy relationship. Men often complain how women can sometimes be “drama queens,” are selfish and want to be the center of attention. Some men also report that women are not steeped in bringing much to the table beside the sexual relationship which women tend to use to manipulate men. Men like companionship and women who like to share their time doing the things men like to do. Men love to be respected. They like women they can trust, are considerate but often say that they find these things lacking.

Men who go their own way do not have to bear the risk of being decimated, financially, emotionally and physically. They can live a more peaceful, drama free life. They often will date, but will not marry again. Men want a relationship, but many men and women are unprepared. So how can this dynamic be improved?

I believe that educating ourselves as to what a healthy relationship is supposed to be is critically important. Statistics reveal that the total percentage of college graduates that will not read another book after graduating college is 42%. For High School graduates it is 33%.

Education is essential concerning relationships. Imagine what a difference it would make if 1/3 of our formal education included relationship skills? I submit that the result would be couples better prepared for relationships. That said, reading and practicing what is learned, would improve not only the quality but the longevity of a relationship. Realizing that “being” the right person who is prepared for a relationship versus “finding” the right person could change the dynamic of the lack of available marriage eligible men and women.

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Source by Johnn Williams Jr.

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Confidence isn’t something you see, it’s something you feel.

In every person’s life, there will always be a yearning for some form of identity. We, as human beings, will always want to belong to something in order to fulfil our instinctive aspirations of ‘finding who we are’. Whether you find your identity as a CEO, or a member of an exclusive club, it is human nature to want to belong to something. Without this identity, you will feel like you are constantly searching for something. When you find your identity, confidence will follow.

As a male it is traditionally seen as your responsibility to be able to protect yourself and others, and realistically, only confident people can fill this role. Women like to know that they are protected, and as a result, are attracted to men who can facilitate these needs.

First impressions definitely matter.

When you approach a woman, what you say is important. The one thing more important than what you say is how you say it. As soon as you begin talking to a woman, or anyone for that matter, they will subconsciously begin to judge you. It’s how we are naturally programmed. Before you even have a chance to think about it, said woman has already drawn her first judgements upon meeting you.

If you mumble, then you are going to come across as lacking in confidence. If you sound nervous, she will think you are an anxious person. Take these things into account when considering how you want yourself to be perceived and it will make being confident a lot easier. If you speak clearly, and with purpose, you will find that people’s perceptions of you change, which will ultimately result in you being more confident.

Body language.

Your body language can often say more about you than what you say verbally. Next time you are in a social situation, think about the things listed below and try to analyse your own body language. After this, you will be able to notice signs that give any sense of nervousness, and furthermore, you will be able to change this so as to improve people’s perceptions of you, and your confidence as a whole.

  • If you are constantly surveying what is going on around you and not paying attention to your company, it shows that you are uncomfortable.
  • Make eye contact. Nervous people tend to look away from the people they are talking to, so by doing the exact opposite and maintaining that contact, it further emphasizes your confidence.
  • You would be surprised by the amount of people who speed up how fast they talk when they are anxious. Talk at a moderate pace instead and you will find yourself more at ease.

The importance of confidence when trying to attract women is one of the most significant aspects of approaching women. People can only perceive you as you perceive yourself, so have a confident mentality and women will find your confidence attractive.

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Source by David Winter

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Seerah 60 – The Battle Of Khandaq Ahzab P4 – Dr. Yasir Qadhi 8th May 2013 – M-jclg6LY0g
Lecture: Seerah Series
Download Link: http://bit.ly/1PZeKrc
Uploaded by Zikr
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Source by Zikr
Download Free Seerah 60 – The Battle Of Khandaq Ahzab P4 – Dr. Yasir Qadhi 8th May 2013 – M-jclg6LY0g – (Seerah Series) by Zikr at 2014/12/20 10:37:01 +0000

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One of the many challenges men have is to decide on what positions to use when getting booty. The biggest fears are that the woman will get bored with the “same old, same old” and as a result lose interest in sex. So the question becomes, what are the best sexual positions?

The best way to explain this is to talk about what NOT to do. With that in mind, I’ll now talk about the top five mistakes guys make when it comes to sexual positions, so that way you won’t continue making them.

Position Mistake 1: Imitating anything seen in a porn movie. This is probably the biggest reason that guys fail with sexual positions. Inexperienced guys think porn is a good model because they see studs banging beautiful broads, and… well, they just don’t know any better. The problem is that sexual positions in those sorts of movies are meant to display a good scene for viewers, not to maximize pleasure for the actors.

And in fact, one of the WORST positions for clitoral and vaginal stimulation is when the woman puts her ankles on your shoulders. With her pelvis bent back that far, she can feel pain in her cervix if you push in too far. Plus it’s a position that puts pressure. (If you ever have a chance to go behind the scenes and watch the making of an adult movie, you’ll see how quickly the mood gets killed when the actress keeps having to stop the scene to go to the bathroom!)

Position Mistake 2: Trying too hard to keep your weight off the woman, in any position. To a woman, sex is a way to get closer to her man. She loves it when he leans on the underside of her thighs. So here’s a tip for you to try… Next time you’re having sex with your woman (while you’re engaged in actual intercourse, that is), get more of your weight on her. You see, during sex, almost every woman enjoys feeling her man’s body pressed hard against her.

So how much weight should you put on her? Make it enough so that after you come, and the sexual frenzy dissipates, your woman will tell you that she feels like she’s being smooshed. Of course, do this within limits! If you’re on top off her grinding her pubic bone for too long, it can feel painful for her.

But the bottom line is that many, many women like to be pressured by at least some of the man’s weight. So save the gentlemanly sex for the royal family’s women!

Position Mistake 3: Letting the woman do all the work when she’s on top. For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity. So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up to you penetrating into her body.

Position Mistake 4: Being a wimp. A lot of guys have read too many “Men are From Mars”-type books and think women like it if you ask permission for everything and let them take the lead. Be the alpha male instead and just “do it.” Flip her over, move her here and there. Be aggressive and even toss her about like a rag doll when you want to change positions, and… she’ll LOVE it! And don’t worry about it. If something is going on that the woman doesn’t like, she’ll let you know.

Position Mistake 5: Thinking the trickier positions are better. You don’t need to be upside down, hanging from a lamp, and doing something crazy. Just be normal. An old standby like the missionary (man on top, woman lying on her back) can be the best sexual position.

Tricky positions are just frustrating for everybody and often kill the mood because there’s too much “where should I put my arm?”… and not enough “let’s just have fun exploring.”

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Source by John J. Alexander

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