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Mon 13 Ramadan 1444AH 3-4-2023AD at 12:17 pm #89718
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Advice of the Day
My dearest sisters,
I know that many of you are struggling in your marriages.
You may feel unsafe, threatened, and insecure.
You may live in fear wondering when your husband will explode and take his anger out on you or the children.
You’re in a constant state of fight or flight with overwhelming feelings of depression and anxiety.
You feel trapped.
You feel alone.
You feel hopeless.
You’re in survival mode only getting by for the children. It’s too much to bear and you don’t know where to turn.
You may not want to expose your husband and tell others about his dark side so you struggle alone crying yourself to sleep each night behind locked doors.
You may have asked for help from family or the community and all you hear is, “Be patient sister. This is your test.”
You may feel that being a good, Muslim wife means keeping the family together at all costs so you constantly sacrifice your well-being, your peace of mind, your mental health and your safety to meet the standard of being an ideal wife.
THAT’S NOT TRUE!
Being a good wife does not mean tolerating abuse.
Being a good wife does not mean taking a beating.
Being a good wife does not mean staying silent when you’re being oppressed or abused.
Your safety and the safety of your children are priorities.
You can’t sacrifice yourself and live in constant fear.
You can’t sacrifice your peace of mind because you’re afraid of the stigma of divorce.
Staying in a dysfunctional, abusive marriage will cause mental health disorders in your children.
Many times women tell me that they are staying for the children.
The majority of children brought up in abusive homes wish their moms chose safety and peace over being together as a family.
They get subjected to violence, anger, and constant fighting which leaves them feeling hopeless.
Many children raised in dysfunctional families will self-medicate using drugs or alcohol to ease their anxiety and some sadly cut themselves, attempt suicide, or commit suicide to escape the madness.
I know you’re scared of the unknown.
I know you’re afraid of the stigma.
I know that it’s very difficult.
But you’ve got to put your trust in Allah and seek help.
Prioritize safety and peace over what people will say.
I pray that Allah will protect you and provide you a safe haven.
Show some love and support for our sisters who are struggling. Write a prayer for their ease or at least an Aameen.
🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝
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