Twenty kids between the ages of 11 and 14 of Fayerweather street school in Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA whose parents were divorced shared their experiences in the book ” The Kids’ Book of Divorce edited by their teacher Eric Rofes. These children shared their experiences as children of divorced parents, if you have read this book, you would know that divorce is not an easy task and it tells a lot on the children if not handled with care.
Divorce is hard, very hard, it is harder on the children. Divorce should be the last resort after several attempts have been made to make a union work. Some issues in marriage can be resolved through families intervention, counselling, having a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner, spiritual diagnosis, taking a marital break, and so on.
You see, once your marital issues have not gotten to the extent that your sanity is at stake, your spiritual, emotional, physical, and psychological well-being is not been tampered with by the actions of your spouse or in-laws, please give your marriage a second chance.
You see, honored one, I strongly believe in fulfilling one’s side of the deal, I always put in my best for something to work so that it will serve as a reference point of dua for me before Allah, so that I will be able and proud with a conscience free to ask Him for anything, fulfill your side of the deal too, work hard on your marriage, try your possible best for it to work and if eventually, it doesn’t work then Allah knows how to compensate your efforts, also note that in the name of making it work do not sacrifice your mental well-being, your self-respect…only a living soul can reap the fruits of its effort. Know where to draw the curtains, know when to use your voice, know when to stand up for yourself, and also when to be patient and tolerant.
The family is the basic unit of the society, once the family failed to perform its roles the entire society will bear the consequences, don’t listen to people whose advice to you is to leave at any slight challenge, no marriage is perfect, also do not tolerate any form of abuse in the name of being married, know how to balance things up.
Divorce is hard, building a home is also hard, choose your hard, marriage is not a bed of roses.
Use your God-given voice,
Stand up for yourself,
Be a prayer warrior.
May our homes be healed.
@ Amoo Ganiyat