Do not be a Prey O Sister.
In a world where sex has been given the same status as food, where anyone can long for it and have it anyday any time, be they single or married, then people will hunt for any means to satisfy their urge with as much vigor as a hunter will hunt for an animal, creating a sort of predator-prey arrangement.
While there are instances where women are the Predators using their charms and seductive arsenal to subdue a man and make him do their biddings, it is much lesser in frequency compared to predatory men and young boys who prowl the street looking for the next target to take to their bed. How does a woman avoid being a man’s prey?
1. Do not be easily accessible to men.
Do not be the kind of lady that laughs and easily lets men feel comfortable around her. A woman’s first line of defence should be that a man has to think twice before even initiating an inappropriate discussion with her. There are no-nonsense ladies that even those who wish to genuinely propose to them need to gather their wits because she has no time to waste on flimsy chases. When you are easily accessible to all kinds of men, then you become an open field where all kinds of predators try out their hunting skills.
2. Try to be intelligent.
From our days in school, intelligent girls always appeared intimidating to unserious guys. Picture Aishah Radiyallāhu anhaa. Imagine the thousands of ahadeeth that even men had to report from her. Can you imagine such a woman as a pushover? This is one of the assignments of parents. One way to arm your daughter to be able to stand her feet in todays world is to build her intellect. Knowledge and intelligence are esteem boosters. Compare them to those ladies who always need tutorials in the university. How many boys used the pretext of turorials to get girls into their bed those days (now this isn’t intended to be a generalisation).
3. Review your disposition to boyfriend grifriend relationships or any similar relationship with the opposite sex.
There is no law anywhere that says a girl must have a boyfriend. On the contrary, those illicit relationships are destroying the minds of young ladies. You will see a girl of 19 who has already had multiple heartbreaks. You will wonder how many more she will have and what pieces will be left to be picked by her husband. You see, randy boys and men are as cunning as foxes. If they come to you and say what they want from you is sex they know you will say ‘NO’ outrightly. Instead, they come to you with the claim of love and start a relationship. If I wanted to, I can easily fake being in love with you, and you will never suspect. I will write you sweet poems speak to you in ways that make you feel weightless as though you were flying without wings, take you to beautiful places that make you feel special, treat you like a princess…. but feel nothing for you, absolutely nothing! I am telling you this as a man who knows how men think! The moment you fall deeply in love with him, you become vulnerable. He strikes when you are at your weakest. A man who treats you like a princess, makea you feel loved and wanted and (probably) spends a fortune on you, whatelse has a woman to pay him with if not with her body? That’s the endgame. I am aware many of these relationships today are a togetherness for mutual convenience and one can hardly tell who is playing who, but my focus today is on innocent and naive girls who play into the hands of randy predatory boys and men.
4. Embrace chastitiy and guard it jealously. Avoid whatever attempts to threaten your chastity. Avoid seclusion with boys. Avoid arousing things that will ignite your craving for members of the opposite sex the more. Your biology will eventually make this inevitable, and it is my sincere hope that marriage will be on the table for discussion at the earliest possible time. It is difficult to cheat biology. Once you are ripe for reproduction, your body will prompt and push you towards it. It is left to you to either seek to enjoy it in a halal marriage or adapt a disciplined life that helps you cope and wait until the appropriate time.
5. When a man marries a woman, he goes through the legal requirements involved in the marital process, including the linking of two families. The legality of the process gives him a worthy access to your body as he becomes in charge of your basic needs. When you give this same body that should be sought after through a legal process, to a boy or man on a platter of gold it diminishes your value a great deal before him. We are saying the value of a woman is so great that even her smile is expensive, so expensive that not all men are worthy of it.
6. Fear Allāh! He watches everything you do, in hidden and in public.
May Allāh guide and protect our daughters from the evils of predators in men’s clothings.