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Mon 16 Shaban 1445AH 26-2-2024AD at 5:18 pm #91063
Marry!
Seems to me that the more responsible a man is or tries to be , the more reluctant they are to marriage. Whether it’s their first or subsequent ones.
I perfectly understand this type of thinking. They don’t want to end up failing in their obligations as parent or as husband. But the thing is unnecessary delay of marriage has its own consequences, both on a personal and on a societal level. We have more young girls ready for marriage than we have men. At least from my observation.
And it’s something I personally experienced I was constantly harassed by Shaykh Najmdeen before marriage. I remember even as I planned towards marriage I once asked Ustadh Murtadha : I feel like postponing this thing.
In retrospect I really and sincerely appreciate the support. Marriage is not something to be delayed especially if your delay is based on things that are not essential.
Practically the most important thing you need is a house. In fact , this part of the world, if you get an apartment, it’s expected that marriage follows. Get a steady source of income and save.
Make a careful choice of where to live and how to live. If you’re from a humble background, don’t jump to posh environments.
Be selective about the woman you want to marry. Women naturally need money, what varies is probably their appetite and taste for luxury. At base it’s your responsibility to spend on them.
If a university graduate is too expensive for you, go for someone who has finished secondary school. If Lagos girls are too expensive, go to other states. Wallah there are beautiful women in those places.
It is not a must you live in city centers. In fact the facilities in some states beat Lagos government facilities hands down. They don’t have the sheer number of people we have here.
All in all live in accordance with your means.
But get married.
Post by Ustādh Kabir Nāsir Al-Asfar
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