My Husband Wants to Marry Another Wife

[Aminatu]

I get threats as a match maker, and sometimes it is serious, so I know my job is cumbersome. It is quite easy to postulate about the tedious job we do in Halal Hub Consult, except you know the rigorousity of the task, until then, you will appreciate it.

The sister called me to show her displeasure about the intention of her husband to take another wife, she was ready to do anything if the effort is achieved on the platform. This time, you will get assaults and insults, “do not give my husband another wife, my husband is not responsible”. As a marriage counselor, you must be able to get the best out of the situation.

This is not new, because I get these reactions almost all the time particularly from the first wives, lamenting the ill treatment they get from their men, so they are surely not happy when these so called husbands decide to take another wife.

My dear first wife, do not allow your husband turn you to something else, stop fighting every innocent sister he talks to, if you ask me, you do not need to get agitated over a being. Instead of going out there to attack people because your husband plans to take another wife, why don’t you sit him down to discuss these issues amicably. You practically do not have business with anyone but your husband, he is actually the one seeking another wife, no one else. You abandon the primary assignment at home, yet you hunting and chasing innocent sisters down.

Some men are not being truthful, they just want to eat their cake and have it, you fail in your responsibility at home; no good accomodation, shelter, education and clothing for your wife and children, but you are in the public domain shouting plural marriage, sir, you are not qualified yet. The woman fed her husband all through the difficult period, and he has promised not to take another wife, but immediately the man sees money, he disowns his roles, and becomes something else. It is not logical that you want to destroy your existing family because you choose not to follow the process properly.

As a wife, when you cannot handle it, pray and suggest marriage counseling to your husband, he will be enlightened on the rudiments of polygyny, this is better than fighting, quarreling and cavilling. I have maturely handled many cases, where the man wants to take second wife, and the first wife picks holes, so instead of going confrontational, the issue will be resolved without rancour. If the man decides to go ahead, the processes will be followed, and in some cases, the man might decide to drop the ambition of taking another wife till later time.

I am a strong fan of plural marriage, there is no way I can discourage brothers and sisters that are physically, morally, sexually, financially and psychologically ready for the best type of marriage (polygyny), especially when it is Islamic.

Always pay attention to details.

Abu Sheikh

[Author]

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